Just the two of us.

Tomorrow marks my 38th week of pregnancy. 

THIRTY-EIGHT WEEKS.

It seems like it was just yesterday that Scott&I arrived home from a beautiful trip to New York City only to find out about our little miracle forming in my womb. 

And now, after a move to Hawaii & a million new memories--

She is about to make her grand appearance any day now. 

This season for S&I has been amazing. 

I've truly had a great pregnancy and we've grown so much closer as a couple, praise God! 

But as time is dwindling down to Baby H's appearance, I can't help but feel a little saddened at the fact that it will no longer be the two of us ever again. 

I was telling him the other night that I wish I could just know the day she was coming, so I could know beforehand our last moments of just us.

Our last morning of staying in bed&cuddling until we want to get up.

Our last date.

Our last night to stay up late watching movies.

Our last lazy Saturday.

Our last drive to church. 

Our last time to make dinner together.

Our last day of just us. 

Just so I could hold on to each moment a little tighter.

And that got me thinking. 

When and what were my parents' "lasts"? 

Many of you don't know this, but another reason I have cherished this season of pregnancy is the fact that I will be becoming a Mommy at the age of twenty five.

Why is this fact cherished? 

Because my own Mother was twenty five when she became a Mommy to me.

I was her miracle forming in her womb when her and my dad were 

"just them".

And I feel like I have been given the rare opportunity to catch a glimpse of what my parents were like when it was just them.

The pure joy from when my Mom first found out she was

pregnant with me.

The butterflies she must have felt telling her husband he was going to be a Daddy.

The excitement of that first ultrasound&seeing me as their

little jellybean. 

Hearing my heartbeat for the first time.

Celebrating the news with all their family and friends.

When she first felt my flutterings

&then giggling when my Dad first felt me.

When she looked into the mirror at her changing body, proud of the miraculous process going on inside of her.

And my Dad telling her she'd never been more beautiful.

Sitting on their couch watching her stomach move as I showed them how much I loved hearing their voices. 

And those times when I had the hiccups.

My Daddy talking to me through her stomach before falling asleep.

Sitting in my nursery, dreaming about their new life. 

Wondering when I was going to make my grand appearance & getting ready in every way they could. 

And finally, cherishing their lasts as a couple before children.

I know that when Baby H arrives, life will never be like it was before our children--

when it was just the two of us.

And quite frankly, I don't even know what that looks like yet.

But I do know how much I love my parents&the childhood they gave us,

the kind that was full of laughter&adventure.

And I am over-the-moon excited to give that life to our children, 

together. 

Just the two of us. 

I made a promise to myself.

 Pregnancy.

The season that Mr. Cummings & I are in right now.

It's a beautiful season--one that is accompanied by extra hugs, kisses, and prayers. 

Extra pictures, laughter, and cuddles.

Extra money spent, hormones, and fears.

But with all of those extras, time is not one of them. 

Quite actually, time is running out. And far too quickly. 

Which is why, when I caught myself telling everyone all the time, 

"I can't wait until Baby H gets here"

God let me know that my attitude needed to change.

I can wait.

In fact, I want to wait. 

I want these last few months to be memorable. 

I want to live in the moment of feeling her inside of me & watching Scott's face light up when he feels her.

I want to live in the moment of dreaming about her.

I want to live in the moment of dating my Husband before she arrives.

I want to live in the moment of just being us, 

because there will never be a time when our family was just the two of us ever again. 

(As my mom has always said, "Once you have kids, you will always have kids.")

I want to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie without having to hear cries and jump up exhausted.

I want to go on adventures so when we are asked,

"What did you guys do before kids?" We can answer them.

 I want to live in the moment of slowly watching my belly grow, knowing God is knitting our sweet blessing together.

I want to be able to have as much 'me time' as possible.

I want to spoil Mallow with extra cuddles&walks.

I want to be able to slow down & take it all in

before she gets here and time really flies by.

I want to hold onto the anticipation of what it will be like to hold her for the first time & watch Scott melt as he does the same.

I want to experience all of our 'lasts' whole heartedly before we experience our 'firsts' as parents.

After Baby H arrives, Scott&I will never again be a family of two. 

We will be PARENTS.

{Still giddy&terrified at that thought.)

And really, we are over-the-moon excited for that day, 

but until then.. we'll just be over in Hawaii soaking up our last days as just us. 

I can wait until Baby H gets here.

B A B Y || C U M M I N G S

B A B Y

C U M M I N G S.

_________________________________

If you haven't heard yet, Scott&I are going to be having a BABY--

due in August.

To say that we are excited would be an understatement. 

We are truly looking at our baby as a perfect gift from God and there are no words that would describe how we are feeling. 

Answered prayers!

With countless amounts of prayer, Scott&I both agreed that we would start trying for a baby when he got back from his last deployment because we knew the next three years would be steady in Hawaii-- no deployments. 

Thank the Lord!

I had a feeling right before Thanksgiving that I was pregnant, but we were on our way to New York on vacation, so we agreed that I wouldn't test until we got back. We had a blast during our vacation, but come that Monday morning I couldn't wake up fast enough to take a test. Within seconds, two very distinct pink lines showed up. 

I was completely shocked!

So, naturally, I went to the store and bought two more.

Again, within seconds they both told me what I had already known:

I was carrying our precious baby.

To tell Scott the wonderful news, I had a blank puzzle that I wrote on each piece to tell him why I love him. Then I hid the two pieces that told him that he was going to be a Daddy and when he came to the last two pieces, I handed them to him! 

Oh his reaction will forever be in my heart!

To celebrate, I thought I would be funny and I gave him pickles&ice cream. ---He didn't get the joke, which only made it more entertaining for me. 

I wrote this on the back of the puzzle! :)

Fast forward a little bit, we were able to tell all of our family and close friends-- almost all in person, as we were in Utah for a month over Christmas. 

To see everyone's excitement was almost too much to handle. 

Oh, sweet baby of ours, you are so very loved and adored already. 

For those wondering about my pregnancy so far, I haven't really been sick. I will get headaches and nausea, but that's about it. Oh, besides being EXHAUSTED all of the time! But that is going away thanks to almost being in the second trimester. (!!!!!) 

One of the parts that I haven't enjoyed was how much I love eating salads, but since I've been pregnant I can't seem to think about them without feeling nauseous. I really hope that goes away soon so I start to eat salads again. 

I just want to thank everyone for being so excited & supportive during this season for Scott&I. We truly feel blessed to have everyone there for us and to love Baby Cummings so much already! 

{Psalm 139:13}

"I dare you..."

I dare you...

While the Hubs has been gone on another mini deployment, 

Neflix has become a dear friend. 

A friend that I can cuddle up with, eat dinner or too much dessert with, 

and frankly, let's me shed my tears.

Well tonight I stumbled across a movie called Ragamuffin.

SERIOUSLY one of the best movies I've ever watched.

It's about the life of Rich Mullins. 

An American contemporary Christian music singer and songwriter.

He didn't try to be liked by everyone, he just wanted to shout the truth to all those who were listening.

 Whether you liked the way he delivered it or not, he was going to tell you.

I had no idea that he wrote two of my favorite songs:

"Awesome God" and "Sometimes by Step."

And my new favorite song of his:

"Hold me Jesus." 

Especially during those lonely nights where I only wish Scott could be home to hold me tight as we fall asleep next to each other. 

Or when I miss my family so much it hurts.

Or when I would rather be across the world on a mission trip.

"So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf

You have been King of my glory

Won't You be my Prince of Peace."

So, about that dare...

I especially loved a part in the movie where the pastor made me cry. A much needed, heart-wrenching cry for my God. 

One that just makes sense and doesn't make sense at all.

It was all about the depth of God's love for me.

For US, all of us.

A message that my broken, sinful, battered heart needed more than I needed the next breath of air. 

Brennan Manning said:

"The Lord Jesus is going to ask each of us one question and only one question: Do you believe that I loved you? That I desired you? That I waited for you day after day? That I longed to hear the sound of your voice?

The real believers there will answer, “Yes, Jesus. I believed in your love and I tried to shape my life as a response to it. But many of us who are so faithful in our ministry, in our practice, in our church going are going to have to reply, “Well frankly, no sir. I mean, I never really believed it. I mean, I heard alot of wonderful sermons and teachings about it. In fact I gave quite a few myself. But I always knew that that was just a way of speaking; a kindly lie, some Christian’s pious pat on the back to cheer me on. And there’s the difference between the real believers and the nominal Christians that are found in our churches across the land. No one can measure like a believer the depth and the intensity of God’s love. But at the same time, no one can measure like a believer the effectiveness of our gloom, pessimism, low self-esteem, self-hatred and despair that block God’s way to us. Do you see why it is so important to lay hold of this basic truth of our faith? Because you’re only going to be as big as your own concept of God.

Do you remember the famous line of the French philosopher, Blaise Pascal? “God made man in his own image, and man returned the compliment”? We often make God in our own image, and He winds up to be as fussy, rude, narrow minded, legalistic, judgemental, unforgiving, unloving as we are.

In the past couple of three years I have preached the gospel to the financial community in Wallstreet, New York City, the airmen and women of the air force academy in Colorado Springs, a thousand positions in Nairobi. I’ve been in churches in Bangor, Maine, Miami, Chicago, St. Louis, Seattle, San Diego. And honest, the god of so many Christians I meet is a god who is too small for me. Because he is not the God of the Word, he is not the God revealed by it in Jesus Christ who this moment comes right to your seat and says, “I have a word for you. I know your whole life story. I know every skeleton in your closet. I know every moment of sin, shame, dishonesty and degraded love that has darkened your past. Right now I know your shallow faith, your feeble prayer life, your inconsistent discipleship. And my word is this: I dare you to trust that I love you just as you are, and not as you should be.

 Because you’re never going to be as you should be.” 

So, friends, I am passing on the dare.

I dare you to trust that Jesus loves you just as you are, 

and not as you should be. 

And then...be radically changed because of it!

It only gets better with age.

One reoccurring lesson that I keep learning from my 

Grandma&Bompa is this:

It only gets better with age. 

Life. 

Love.

Marriage.

Family.

Adventure.

The week my grandparents visited was completely amazing 

and worth a million lasting memories---

a couples trip that Scott and I will never forget. 

One week, five different cities.

 We learned so much about my Grandpa and Grandma, 

from stories told and just by observation. 

They are the most kind, generous, humble, and loving couple I know. 

Making friends and lasting impressions wherever they go.


Thank you Bompa&Grandma for gracing us with your presence and filling our home and hearts with your love! 

Thank you for constantly spoiling my baby dog. 

Thank you for being such a great example to Scott and I! 

Thank you for exploring new places with us 

and laughing hysterically. 

Thank you for just being so great! 

Tryon Palace. New Bern.

Feeding the goats at Mike's Farm.

Showing Bompa the tractor graveyard.

Horse carriage tour.

We all LOVE desserts way too much.

"Best shrimp&grits."

They had to document this moment when I ordered sea food for dinner.

The gorgeous Boone Hall Plantation.

This is the lake where Allie&Noah jump in!

And this is where Ryan Reynolds&Blake Lively were married.

This is where Noah eats dinner with Allie's family in their backyard.

The Angle Tree.

My dream home!!!

Margaritaville. Myrtle Beach.

They love the beach.

There you have it,

It only gets better with age.

I vowed...

I vowed to love you through the best of times 

 &

the worst of times...

On our drive home from Maryland in April I felt as if I needed to write all my emotions down...

Yesterday I truly understood more of what living out our marriage vows mean and the effect of Genesis 2:24, "This is why a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh." When Scott is broken, I'm broken. 

This week has definitely been the hardest week of our lives, but this, this image of my strong Husband in his dress whites completely heartbroken, saluting his best friend completely shattered my heart and took my breath away. I always knew that this part of being a military wife would someday come, but I've never felt more helpless than that patriotic moment when I had to stand on the sidelines watching him say goodbye to a man he considered more than a brother. And then watching sixty other men in uniform do the exact same thing, over and over again. I've also never felt so proud. 

It's not about the quantity of life, but about the quality. And being around so many people who were touched by Jacob was unexplainable. Jacob's family lost their son and brother, but gained a new family. So many new sons and daughters that will always be there for them. 

Rest easy, Jacob. Your memory will live forever through the hearts of so many, the smile my Husband shows me daily, the stories I will always be happy to hear the millionth time, our future children as they hear their Daddy explain why they should be happy every day because his best friend taught him that. Through the silly faces Scott tries to do that you mastered, through the letters your dad will start sending us, and the memorial that your closest friends will always wear on their wrists. 

We love you and will be seeing you again!

Rest easy, Jacob.

Again, thank you everyone for the prayers during this time&the continued prayers. We very much appreciate each and every one of you!

When we see you again...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgKAFK5djSk