Sunday, May 18, 2014

One year later from the happiest day of my life.

It feels like it was just yesterday that I was waking up, surrounded by all of my girls at my parents' house, realizing that it was the day that I was about to walk down the aisle to marry my forever love, Scott Cummings. I was about to become his Mrs. for forever. I remember having this peace the entire morning, a peace that would only come from my amazing God. I wasn't nervous, but I did want to look perfect for him! 

I frequently close my eyes and push play in my mind to imagine May 18th, 2013 over and over. 



I can picture the way all of my girls looked so giddy when we woke up. The way we loved our relaxing yoga session, delicious coffee, and the way it felt writing my vows to my soon-to-be Husband. I can still picture the way my mom looked when she was helping me into my dress, the way my sister & cousin clung onto everything I said. The way all of my bridesmaids were telling me that they were so excited for me and how beautiful I looked. 

I remember how waiting for Scott to show up to our "reveal" felt like it was an eternity, and I remember how somber he looked while he was waiting for me as I walked up to him. I remember his first glance---seeing forever in his eyes & how he couldn't take his eyes off of me. I remember how it felt in his arms, reading the letters that we had wrote to each other, and finally kissing him! 

I remember the moment that my dad first saw me, his little girl all dressed in white. When he helped me into Lucee and drove me down to the wedding. Him telling me not to wave like a beauty queen, that I was a bride today! I remember that first moment before my dad wrapped my arm around his as we headed down the aisle, the stolen glances between a Daddy & his daughter. I remember looking straight ahead and finding Scott's eyes glued to me, never breaking eye contact. The way his eyes were glistening, the love that shone for everyone to see, the way it felt like we were the only two people in the world. 

I remember my dad being asked who was giving me away, his last kiss on my cheek before I was forever Scott's. The electrifying way it felt with my hands in Scott's, our tender vows to each other, and our precious rings. Making everyone laugh because I was a little too eager to say "I do". Our sand ceremony and the way Mr. Marty brought tears to my eyes the whole ceremony. His prayers on our behalf. 

The giddy feeling when Mr. Marty announced that Scott could finally kiss his bride, our first taste of a God-blessed marriage. The way it felt to finally be announced as 
"Mr. & Mrs. Scott Cummings"!  
Hugging my dad on the way down the aisle, making eye contact with my Mom, sharing that first walk as a married couple arm in arm--ready to take on the world together.
Feeling everyone in the audience celebrate our love. 
   Feeling God smiling at us because we let him write our love story, and knowing this was just the beginning. 


I can not believe that it has been a whole year since Scott & I said our "I do's" and shared that kiss! Our first year has been beyond rewarding, soaked in love, not taking each other for granted. We have had many difficult circumstances, but they always drove us into each other's arms. I promised to give Scott my today's & I will always trust him with my tomorrows. God has always been the center of us and has never broken any of His promises. Just like in 1 Thessalonians 3:12 where it says, "May the Lord make your love increase & overflow for each other." He has definitely made our love grow each & every day, and I can definitely say with my whole heart that I love Scott Cummings more today {on our one year anniversary}than I did that gorgeous May day when we pledged our love to each other in front of everyone.  

Our love is not measured by the days and years, but by the smiles and laughter throughout our home. By the stolen glances and hand holding. Through the way he still watches me and we pursue each other while we are apart. By waking up at odd hours, just to talk to each other for twenty minutes. Through the quiet walks & the late night talks. By the tender embraces and the passionate kisses. Making each other see colors where before there were only grays. 

The training and deployment through our first year of marriage has been so hard. I miss Scott with every breath, creating a constant ache. God did not design Husbands and wives to be apart, but together as one. So the feeling of not being "me" completely during this whole deployment is right on--Scott took a part of me with him the day he left North Carolina. But I have chosen to be positive during this deployment. Don't get me wrong, I am sad to be away from my Husband all of the time and break down when things build up. I can not be strong all of the time, my mom knows this especially. But I have chosen to live life, lean on God, and live through His strength. I get told all of the time that people think that I am doing MUCH better than they were expecting me to be doing. But you know what?! I am. I am doing much better than even I thought I was going to be. Do you know why?! God gets all of the credit!! He gives me His strength and His peace to get through it. Because Scott & I are both Christians and the Holy Spirit lives in each of us, we are spiritually still connected--even with us being physically apart. With that, I still have never felt more connected with Scott, waking each morning to make the decision to love my Husband more that day than the day before. Praying for each other daily, even by the hour. 

So no, I am NOT "fine" or "okay" all of the time. No, this is not how I want our marriage to be spent--apart. Yes, I believe that God has us going through this trial for a reason. No, I do not know what that reason is, but we are trusting Him. Yes, I love Scott doing what he loves in the military and Yes, I love being a military wife. God definitely has a way of knowing which women can be married to men who put their lives on the line every time they go to work. 

 I have recently thought of being a military wife, a military couple, as a ministry. Scott and my way of living a life for God and touching people that we have a chance to meet a long the way. Touching people that are in our home state and our family. So for us, being a military couple is what God wants us to be, and where God wants us to be. Even if that means apart, because we are each working for God where He wants us to be. Scott on his ship and me in Utah for the time being, then back to North Carolina.

Our first year of marriage has been amazing and unbelievable! I can NOT wait until we have 99+ more years of marriage!
I love you Mr. Cummings and I will marry you today and every day! Over and over and over.

I did a photoshoot for our one year anniversary. As much as I would have loved Scott to be here, my mom, Gina, & I made sure that we all had fun.

The life for my deployed sailor &
 his homefront Navy wife.


Thank you to all of our family & friends that were there for us a year ago. And thank you for being there for us throughout our first year of marriage & our anniversary! Also, thank you so much for being our support group throughout this deployment!
Thank you for your prayers for us, keep them coming!! (:
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