In honor of the HALF WAY MARK {Eeeeek! seriously jumping up and down} I wanted to write a post of what not to's.
My
friend Kayla & I decided that I should write this 1)For the
memories, 2) Possibly for laughs...later, and 3)So you may read this and
be more prepared when you come across a military wife.
Caution, there might be some sarcasm in my answers... I just couldn't help it.
So, here is a list of some of the things that you should NOT say to a military wife while her husband is deployed:
- "I could never do it"
Well, if you could never stand along side of your Husband while he is forced to leave for a long time period, you shouldn't be married. You just do it, it's either that or get divorced. Which is NOT an option.
- "Eight months? Oh that's not too long!"
Only if you, yourself, have been through a longer deployment should you ever say this. But even then, as a military wife, you still know eight months is a long time apart from your Husband.
- "Doesn't it just kill you to be apart?"
Nope, I definitely married Scott so that we would have long periods of time apart. Sheeeeesh.
- "Oh, I totally understand what you are going through, only my boyfriend/fiance'/ or husband is only gone for a couple of weeks and I get to see him on weekends/talk to him daily.
NOT.THE.SAME.
But thank you for trying to relate.
- "Can't you go see & stay with him?"
Oh, why didn't I think of that? I'll just catch a flight and be to his ship by dinnertime.
- "He won't ever have to go without you again, right?"
This is for the ones who might not understand the military lifestyle. They are always training and always deploying, so yes, unfortunately he will have to do it again. But this is why we are FREE! (:
- "Are you going to get pregnant any time soon?"
Uh... I kinda need my Husband here for that to happen...
- "Will you get pregnant right when he gets back?"
Uh...by the time he gets home we will have been married 16 months. Eight together, eight apart. I'm pretty sure the only thing that will be on our minds is each other, not babies. Plus, we have miss Mallow moo.
- "Are you (or small town gossip "are they") having marriage problems?
Oh boy. No, we are not having marriage problems and I did not leave my Husband and run to my parents. He is deployed & I am at home surrounded by amazing family and friends that are supporting us.
- "Oh, you must be so lonely."
Why thank you Captain Obvious.
- (From someone unrelated to the military life)"Well, you know what you were getting into when you married Scott with him being in the military."
Correct, I knew that he would have to go fight for our country to defend our freedom, but that doesn't mean I knew what to expect while he was gone or how to deal with all of the emotions.
Caution, there might be some sarcasm in my answers... I just couldn't help it.
So, here is a list of some of the things that you should NOT say to a military wife while her husband is deployed:
- "I could never do it"
Well, if you could never stand along side of your Husband while he is forced to leave for a long time period, you shouldn't be married. You just do it, it's either that or get divorced. Which is NOT an option.
- "Eight months? Oh that's not too long!"
Only if you, yourself, have been through a longer deployment should you ever say this. But even then, as a military wife, you still know eight months is a long time apart from your Husband.
- "Doesn't it just kill you to be apart?"
Nope, I definitely married Scott so that we would have long periods of time apart. Sheeeeesh.
- "Oh, I totally understand what you are going through, only my boyfriend/fiance'/ or husband is only gone for a couple of weeks and I get to see him on weekends/talk to him daily.
NOT.THE.SAME.
But thank you for trying to relate.
- "Can't you go see & stay with him?"
Oh, why didn't I think of that? I'll just catch a flight and be to his ship by dinnertime.
- "He won't ever have to go without you again, right?"
This is for the ones who might not understand the military lifestyle. They are always training and always deploying, so yes, unfortunately he will have to do it again. But this is why we are FREE! (:
- "Are you going to get pregnant any time soon?"
Uh... I kinda need my Husband here for that to happen...
- "Will you get pregnant right when he gets back?"
Uh...by the time he gets home we will have been married 16 months. Eight together, eight apart. I'm pretty sure the only thing that will be on our minds is each other, not babies. Plus, we have miss Mallow moo.
- "Are you (or small town gossip "are they") having marriage problems?
Oh boy. No, we are not having marriage problems and I did not leave my Husband and run to my parents. He is deployed & I am at home surrounded by amazing family and friends that are supporting us.
- "Oh, you must be so lonely."
Why thank you Captain Obvious.
- (From someone unrelated to the military life)"Well, you know what you were getting into when you married Scott with him being in the military."
Correct, I knew that he would have to go fight for our country to defend our freedom, but that doesn't mean I knew what to expect while he was gone or how to deal with all of the emotions.
So, I am not trying to point out one person (there have been many on each point) or to make anyone feel bad. I am just venting so that maybe someone will understand a little bit more about the fragile military wife's heart.
This is amazing Kassidi! I seriously laughed my bum off but it also gave me a look of what people will say to me when Andrew goes on his deployment!
ReplyDeleteThis is touching. It also points out, not much has changed since I began worrying about a Marine in ,1967. He was gone a lot right up to 1975. Then they found more ways to worry us. I could replace a toilet.Imagine that.My husband began 1954, 1st retirement 1982.Second retirement 1986. I lost him 2/1989. But I am still the Tops Wife. You are bound to those who came before. You all are in our hearts. God Bless, hang in there. Semper Fi
ReplyDeleteYeah, I definitely understand this. I am about to see what this life is like. My partner, future husband, is joining the coast guard. It's week two of basic and I have been through a wore wind of emotions. And a lot of thinking. I plan to purpose to him after graduation regardless of if we have to move or not. More than likely we will. Either way, I am happy and want to spend the rest of life with this man. Despite how I feel now, my love for him will never change. Thank you for this! Head (Or Chin lol) up and heart golden! - Future Gay Military Husband
ReplyDeleteCorrection. As you may know, with all of this stress, it's hard to think clearly sometimes. ^* Whirlwind or emotions.
ReplyDelete