Tuesday, October 8, 2013

The 5 Love Languages

I first heard about the five love languages when I was in college. Very, very interesting. Back then, I didn't actually read the book, but I did go take the "What is your Love Language" quiz online. The summer before my last semester at Westminster College I was single for the first time in a LONG time and was listening to my really good friend explain to me that I really needed to think about finding a man with the same love language as me. Marrying a man with the same love language would make marriage easier. 
Woahhhh, I really hadn't thought about that. 
With that philosophy, loving each other would be...natural and easy, well easier {ha}!  

[Insert finding my Prince Charming]

When Scott came tumbling into my life, loving him was...so fun, simple, natural, & easy! He had a way of filling every desire I ever had of a boyfriend, then later as a fiance', and finally as my adorable Husband. Before our engagement, Scott's really good friend gave him a list of things couples should talk about before thinking about getting engaged. {This was a major hint to me that we were going into the right and dreamy direction of engagement! But I never did ask Scott if a proposal was coming any time soon.} Through this journey we talked about everything future. Money, Kids, Careers, Houses, Adventures, Etc. 
Things that every couple should get to know about each other before walking down the aisle. 
During our engagement we did pre-marriage counseling with my Pastor and learned so much about each other & marriage. That was incredible and so helpful! 
I would encourage everyone to do a pre-marriage course. 

But getting to the real point of this post, The 5 Love Languages. 
As much as I could have read this book before Scott and/or during our courtship, I would have never thought that the next time I thought about the languages...we would be married and I would be ordering 
The 5 Love Languages, Military Edition.

Even after understanding both of your love languages, adding in the lifestyle of the military changes everything. Everything has to be modified and really...it just has to be taken more seriously. I just finished reading it last week, took the quiz at the end of the book, and realized that my primary love language actually had changed. You see, your primary love language can change with each season. In my case, it can change when Scott and I are together and then again when we are apart. But one thing that doesn't change? The time and effort that you put into loving your other half. THAT is the true challenge and what is important.


The tricky part is that people tend to love others the way they want to be loved. So with the example of me, my primary love language is Quality Time, so I will most likely love others with quality time because it comes natural to me. The issue some times comes with couples not knowing how to love with the other's love language. The challenge is to figure out what your spouse's love language is and love them "their way". And I promise you, it will have many positive reinforcements.

I thoroughly enjoyed the military edition and have told all of my military wives here about it already! It talks about the hardships of being away from each other, but still being able to fill each other's love tanks. I'm excited for Scott to read it and hear his thoughts on the book. I'm just blessed that Scott & my primary love languages mesh together. 

If you want to find out your primary love language, follow this link: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

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2 comments:

  1. Love this. :) Cody and I are HUGE advocates of "The 5 Love Languages"! It's helped our relationship and marriage so much.

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    1. That's so awesome Ashley! And we look up to you two so much:) I just wish we could all live closer. Cody was actually the one who gave us the list of things to go through before Scott proposed. He's been there since the beginning:) miss our cute little nephew!!

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