I was thinking of what I should do a post on. I wanted something really touching, interesting, and motivational. But today has been pretty uneventful. Wake up, get car's oil changed, take Mallow on a little car ride, skype, sweep and vacuum, and get ready for a military wife social. I decided to take a break on go on pinterest. Brilliant idea!
I came across this post about how to be a Godly wife. I absolutely love advice and since I am new to being a wife, the Bible is the best place to start! This woman took time, dedication, soul-searching, and honesty to write what she believes are some ways to be a Godly wife. I loved every bit of it, which is why I want to share the whole thing! You can find it here. Thank you Butler, Party of 2!
1. Keep God first, your husband second.
Your
relationship with the Lord should ALWAYS take priority in your life,
and you should always be striving to seek Him. When you do that, the
rest of your priorities are more likely to be in order. Make time for
quiet time, reading the Word, and spending time in prayer so you can
have the right heart and attitude throughout the day. And notice who comes second. Not you (selfish). Not your parents, family, friends, kids, job, hobbies, etc. Your HUSBAND
is next. God wants it that way for a reason. A lot of households are
out of order because lots of wives put their children before their
spouse, and that is not the way that God designed the family.
Eventually, children leave. God entrusts them with us temporarily to
raise up in a Godly home, so they can go out and multiply and do the
same. But that’s just it…..they leave, and you are left with your
spouse. That’s why so many marriages crumble when the kids are
grown…because couples lose sight of focusing on their own relationship
and marriage and make the kids the sole priority. Kids LOVE to see their
parents in love (even if they act like they don’t). It is really
beneficial for them to see displays of affection and parents honoring
one another and putting one another first. It teaches them the
foundations of marriage so they will hopefully duplicate that healthy
relationship in the future. It is our job to set a Godly example of
marriage for our kids and model for them the type of marriage we hope
for them to have. Be the kind of wife you want your daughter to be, and the kind of wife you want your son to marry.
2. Understand the covenant.
Marriage
is not a promise, a contract, an agreement, or anything temporary. It
is a covenant, and covenants are NOT to be broken. When you say your
vows, you are vowing not only to your husband, but also to God and
before Him. I have a copy of our wedding vows in my Bible, and I pull
them out and read them sometimes. It’s such a good reminder. The Bible
says it is better to not make a vow at all than to make a vow to God and
break it. In a society where divorce is the easy answer and common
practice, we seem to have lost the understanding of the seriousness of
marriage. It is not meant to be a rash decision made based on emotions
or feelings. And divorce is not an easy way out like we think it is. God
developed marriage, and it is so precious to Him. He chose your spouse
for you before you were even born!! He hand-picked that person
especially for you, and you especially for him! Is that not the coolest
thing?? (I seriously tear up every time I think about that!) That is why
I always teach my SS girls they don’t have to go out seeking a spouse.
If they stay in His will, He will put that person RIGHT in your path.
That’s how so many of us end up with ‘baggage’ and regrets….we try to
force our own future rather than trusting God and His perfect timing.
Now, does that mean it’s going to be easy? No. Marriage is work, and
God expects us to put effort into it. When things get tough, that’s time
to cling to Him, the Word, and each other. Not time to bail.
3. Submit.
Oh
boy, here we go. I can remember being a little girl (probably middle
school age) and hearing someone tell me the Scripture in Ephesians that
calls women to submit to their husbands. My reaction then was much like
most women, and like the world’s view of submission. I remember saying
“There is NO WAY I’m going to be some man’s slave and stay at home and
cook and clean for him!” It was not until I sat through a Bible study on
the book of Ephesians that I truly understood submission. Submission is
not meant for bad…it’s meant to give us more freedom actually. We have
such a negative connotation of the word because we do not fully
understand it. We are called to submit to our husbands as to the Lord.
Another reason our households are so out of order is because so many
women are trying to rule the roost and wear the pants in their
relationship. That is not how we’re made or equipped. Even if you have a
‘stronger’ personality than your husband, HE is still called to be the
leader of your home. This is how I was taught, and this visual clicked
and made perfect sense. The husband’s job is to be the spiritual leader
of the home…..to protect from the enemy and to provide for the family.
He is to stand in the doorway of the home with the whole armor of God on
to keep the enemy out. The wife’s job is to be inside the home,
supporting her husband by managing the household and praying for him.
God did not equip women to fulfill the man’s role, and vice versa. I
know we live in a very feminine society, and I am not saying we’re not
meant to be 50/50. (Actually, I believe marriage is 100/100!). I’m
saying God equipped each of us to have a role within marriage and the
family, and when one is trying to serve in the other’s role, things are
out of whack from the way God designed it to be.
4. Speak edifying words only.
Women
are the world’s worst to get together and “husband bash” …and almost
have a competition to see whose hubby has the worst faults. It is NOT
acceptable to talk negatively about your husband. No excuses. We should
always speak edifying words about him and be building him up to others
(even if there are things about him that drive you BONKERS!!). It is so
tempting to get sucked into that. YES, all of our men do things that
drive us crazy. However, by nagging them or complaining to our
girlfriends about it, that is NOT going to make him change. We
especially have to be careful talking negatively about our spouse to our
family….because it can change their opinion of them, and there is no
undoing that. Sometimes we just may be mad temporarily, but that is not
something they can erase from their minds as easily. Always, always talk
to God about it before you open your mouth to anyone else. Lots of
times you’ll see that is enough “venting” to make you feel better. Do
not tear your husband down to his face or behind his back. And on that
note, it IS okay to PRAISE your husband. If he works hard, let him know
you appreciate it. If you love that he always makes your coffee, give
him some praise for that. If he’s an AWESOME dad, let him know you think
so. Whatever it is that you love or appreciate about him, TELL HIM.
(It’s funny how that works…men seem to thrive off praise and it makes
them want to do more good things for you!)
5. Manage the home like the Proverbs 31 woman.
6. Do it anyway.
There
are lots of things we don’t want to do, and even though we enter into
marriage claiming unconditional love, our actions reflect a very
conditional basis. We want to cook him dinner when he does nice
things for us first. We only want to compliment him when he compliments
us. If he doesn’t do this, we won’t do this….That’s not how it
works. Your husband may not always be fulfilling his role, but that is
between him and God. It i s NOT our job as wives to correct or
discipline our husband. We are not his mama. We are his wife. His
helpmeet. His companion. You should do things for your husband because he is your husband, NOT because of things he is or isn’t doing for you. Of
course it’s easier to want to do nice things for him when he seems to
notice and appreciate them, but he may not. Do them anyway, because
ultimately you are seeking to please the Lord, so think of it as being
obedient in serving the Lord if nothing else. Serving your husband on a
conditional basis is selfish and immature, and that does not honor or
glorify God in any way.
7. Communicate.
He
is not a mind reader, and it’s not fair to expect him to know or
understand your wants/needs or what you’re thinking if you don’t TELL
HIM. This is such a simple concept, but so many disagreements result
from a lack of communication. Learn to communicate with him. Ask him
questions. Listen. And don’t nag/fuss/yell. TALK. Like a normal person.
8. Remember the 80/20 principle.
Do
not put yourself in compromising positions. The grass may be greener on
the other side, but that’s because it’s being fertilized with poo. You
married your spouse because he probably had about 80% of the qualities
you wanted in a man. Lots of affairs happen because people are seeking
to find someone else to fulfill that 20% their spouse is lacking, and
they don’t realize the 80% they are throwing away in doing that! If you
will focus on building up your husband for that 80% and focus on his
STRENGTHS (rather than focusing on the 20% & weaknesses….nagging,
trying to change him, etc.), you will both be SO much happier. Be
content with what you have. It’s all about your attitude and
perspective…think about what you are choosing to focus on. If you are
constantly telling him things he is doing wrong and things you wish he’d
change or do differently, you are tearing him down. It may help to
write out all the things you love about your husband. If you don’t have a
very long list, maybe you should blame that on the person in the
mirror. After all, you’re the one who married him, right?
9. Strive to please him.
This
is tough for us girls too. We are SO selfish and self-centered, we are
ALL about ME and what others can do for us. We think we ‘deserve’ so
many things. Imagine how happy it would make your husband if you tried
to cook meals he likes, talk about and take interest in things that
interest him, and do things with him that he likes to do. He would
probably be tickled to death!! Yes, you may HATE watching basketball,
but that’s not the point. The point is the man you love loves watching
it. When you are willing to sacrifice with the small things like that, I
truly believe that helps his love grow deeper for you and it will
return tenfold in some way. This also means taking care of yourself.
Exercise, eat healthy, and try to dress up for him sometimes. No, I’m
not saying you have to be a little trophy wife, but if you take care of
yourself, you’ll feel more confident and desirable, and you will both
benefit from that. Lots of women “let themselves go” after getting
married and having kids. (I know, lots of husbands do that too…I don’t
think that’s okay for them either). I want to take care of myself.
10. Cover him in prayer.
We
should pray for our husband every.single.day. No excuses, ever. He
NEEDS your prayer. Think again about his role as the head of the
household. Since marriage is so sacred to God, you know the enemy is
going to be constantly trying to attack, which means our husband is
constantly going to be battling spiritual warfare. He needs for you to
cover him in prayer daily to help him stay strong. Be his prayer warrior!
I truly believe if we focus on being the BEST wives we
can be for our husbands, God will honor that and your husband will step
his game up as well. Even if he doesn’t, our goal should be to live a
life that is holy and pleasing to the Lord. If nothing else, do it out
of obedience to Him.
See, I told you it was good advice! You're welcome for sharing. Now, go plan a date with your handsome hubby!
