I made a promise to myself.

 Pregnancy.

The season that Mr. Cummings & I are in right now.

It's a beautiful season--one that is accompanied by extra hugs, kisses, and prayers. 

Extra pictures, laughter, and cuddles.

Extra money spent, hormones, and fears.

But with all of those extras, time is not one of them. 

Quite actually, time is running out. And far too quickly. 

Which is why, when I caught myself telling everyone all the time, 

"I can't wait until Baby H gets here"

God let me know that my attitude needed to change.

I can wait.

In fact, I want to wait. 

I want these last few months to be memorable. 

I want to live in the moment of feeling her inside of me & watching Scott's face light up when he feels her.

I want to live in the moment of dreaming about her.

I want to live in the moment of dating my Husband before she arrives.

I want to live in the moment of just being us, 

because there will never be a time when our family was just the two of us ever again. 

(As my mom has always said, "Once you have kids, you will always have kids.")

I want to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie without having to hear cries and jump up exhausted.

I want to go on adventures so when we are asked,

"What did you guys do before kids?" We can answer them.

 I want to live in the moment of slowly watching my belly grow, knowing God is knitting our sweet blessing together.

I want to be able to have as much 'me time' as possible.

I want to spoil Mallow with extra cuddles&walks.

I want to be able to slow down & take it all in

before she gets here and time really flies by.

I want to hold onto the anticipation of what it will be like to hold her for the first time & watch Scott melt as he does the same.

I want to experience all of our 'lasts' whole heartedly before we experience our 'firsts' as parents.

After Baby H arrives, Scott&I will never again be a family of two. 

We will be PARENTS.

{Still giddy&terrified at that thought.)

And really, we are over-the-moon excited for that day, 

but until then.. we'll just be over in Hawaii soaking up our last days as just us. 

I can wait until Baby H gets here.

B A B Y || C U M M I N G S

B A B Y

C U M M I N G S.

_________________________________

If you haven't heard yet, Scott&I are going to be having a BABY--

due in August.

To say that we are excited would be an understatement. 

We are truly looking at our baby as a perfect gift from God and there are no words that would describe how we are feeling. 

Answered prayers!

With countless amounts of prayer, Scott&I both agreed that we would start trying for a baby when he got back from his last deployment because we knew the next three years would be steady in Hawaii-- no deployments. 

Thank the Lord!

I had a feeling right before Thanksgiving that I was pregnant, but we were on our way to New York on vacation, so we agreed that I wouldn't test until we got back. We had a blast during our vacation, but come that Monday morning I couldn't wake up fast enough to take a test. Within seconds, two very distinct pink lines showed up. 

I was completely shocked!

So, naturally, I went to the store and bought two more.

Again, within seconds they both told me what I had already known:

I was carrying our precious baby.

To tell Scott the wonderful news, I had a blank puzzle that I wrote on each piece to tell him why I love him. Then I hid the two pieces that told him that he was going to be a Daddy and when he came to the last two pieces, I handed them to him! 

Oh his reaction will forever be in my heart!

To celebrate, I thought I would be funny and I gave him pickles&ice cream. ---He didn't get the joke, which only made it more entertaining for me. 

I wrote this on the back of the puzzle! :)

Fast forward a little bit, we were able to tell all of our family and close friends-- almost all in person, as we were in Utah for a month over Christmas. 

To see everyone's excitement was almost too much to handle. 

Oh, sweet baby of ours, you are so very loved and adored already. 

For those wondering about my pregnancy so far, I haven't really been sick. I will get headaches and nausea, but that's about it. Oh, besides being EXHAUSTED all of the time! But that is going away thanks to almost being in the second trimester. (!!!!!) 

One of the parts that I haven't enjoyed was how much I love eating salads, but since I've been pregnant I can't seem to think about them without feeling nauseous. I really hope that goes away soon so I start to eat salads again. 

I just want to thank everyone for being so excited & supportive during this season for Scott&I. We truly feel blessed to have everyone there for us and to love Baby Cummings so much already! 

{Psalm 139:13}

"I dare you..."

I dare you...

While the Hubs has been gone on another mini deployment, 

Neflix has become a dear friend. 

A friend that I can cuddle up with, eat dinner or too much dessert with, 

and frankly, let's me shed my tears.

Well tonight I stumbled across a movie called Ragamuffin.

SERIOUSLY one of the best movies I've ever watched.

It's about the life of Rich Mullins. 

An American contemporary Christian music singer and songwriter.

He didn't try to be liked by everyone, he just wanted to shout the truth to all those who were listening.

 Whether you liked the way he delivered it or not, he was going to tell you.

I had no idea that he wrote two of my favorite songs:

"Awesome God" and "Sometimes by Step."

And my new favorite song of his:

"Hold me Jesus." 

Especially during those lonely nights where I only wish Scott could be home to hold me tight as we fall asleep next to each other. 

Or when I miss my family so much it hurts.

Or when I would rather be across the world on a mission trip.

"So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf

You have been King of my glory

Won't You be my Prince of Peace."

So, about that dare...

I especially loved a part in the movie where the pastor made me cry. A much needed, heart-wrenching cry for my God. 

One that just makes sense and doesn't make sense at all.

It was all about the depth of God's love for me.

For US, all of us.

A message that my broken, sinful, battered heart needed more than I needed the next breath of air. 

Brennan Manning said:

"The Lord Jesus is going to ask each of us one question and only one question: Do you believe that I loved you? That I desired you? That I waited for you day after day? That I longed to hear the sound of your voice?

The real believers there will answer, “Yes, Jesus. I believed in your love and I tried to shape my life as a response to it. But many of us who are so faithful in our ministry, in our practice, in our church going are going to have to reply, “Well frankly, no sir. I mean, I never really believed it. I mean, I heard alot of wonderful sermons and teachings about it. In fact I gave quite a few myself. But I always knew that that was just a way of speaking; a kindly lie, some Christian’s pious pat on the back to cheer me on. And there’s the difference between the real believers and the nominal Christians that are found in our churches across the land. No one can measure like a believer the depth and the intensity of God’s love. But at the same time, no one can measure like a believer the effectiveness of our gloom, pessimism, low self-esteem, self-hatred and despair that block God’s way to us. Do you see why it is so important to lay hold of this basic truth of our faith? Because you’re only going to be as big as your own concept of God.

Do you remember the famous line of the French philosopher, Blaise Pascal? “God made man in his own image, and man returned the compliment”? We often make God in our own image, and He winds up to be as fussy, rude, narrow minded, legalistic, judgemental, unforgiving, unloving as we are.

In the past couple of three years I have preached the gospel to the financial community in Wallstreet, New York City, the airmen and women of the air force academy in Colorado Springs, a thousand positions in Nairobi. I’ve been in churches in Bangor, Maine, Miami, Chicago, St. Louis, Seattle, San Diego. And honest, the god of so many Christians I meet is a god who is too small for me. Because he is not the God of the Word, he is not the God revealed by it in Jesus Christ who this moment comes right to your seat and says, “I have a word for you. I know your whole life story. I know every skeleton in your closet. I know every moment of sin, shame, dishonesty and degraded love that has darkened your past. Right now I know your shallow faith, your feeble prayer life, your inconsistent discipleship. And my word is this: I dare you to trust that I love you just as you are, and not as you should be.

 Because you’re never going to be as you should be.” 

So, friends, I am passing on the dare.

I dare you to trust that Jesus loves you just as you are, 

and not as you should be. 

And then...be radically changed because of it!

Beauty from Ashes. {Part 3:Orphanages}

One of the biggest highlights of my mission trip to Haiti were the orphanages. We went to three: Hope House, Whole Hearted, & CAD. 

These children all have sweet spirits and a loving presence, you definitely knew you were in a holy place when you went through their gates. 

God calls us to love and take care of the orphans of the world, and quite honestly, loving these children is one of the biggest blessings I have ever encountered! 

We were able to spend time with the kids that my parents sponsor and I truly fell in love with my Haitian sisters!

Whole Hearted Orphanage.

Narlene&Magdala.
My parents sponsor Narlene (who has such a sad story from birth till four years old), but Magdala is her best friend. So if my parents send a gift for Narlene, Magdala gets one too! Scott and I are actually going to start sponsoring Magdala and we are so thrilled to love this little girl.. and her best friend;)

We were invited for a movie&popcorn night and I was SO excited!

 We got to spend more time with them, all while doing such a "normal" thing. 

We watched Airbud, and even though most of the kids are not fluent in English, they laughed and giggled throughout the whole movie! 

Tina and I were taught an awesome clapping game! 

We totally rocked it;)

Hope House.

My parents sponsor these two girls and we were able to share the love with them while we were there. 

Hope House is an amazing place! When we first arrived, they sang for us and you could just feel the love of God there. 

They also wanted to pray for US while we were there!  

Hope House also tries to help the community by selling their chicken eggs and plants. Their goal is to help the community sustain better by working together: growing food, buying that food, and selling more starts. 

CAD.

This is sweet Mott. My church here in NC sent money with me and we are trying to see if we can help Mott with her eyes. She might need more than Haiti can provide for her if she needs surgery, but if we can get her the best doctor appointments we might be able to help! Prayers for this, please.

Haiti, you will forever hold a piece of my heart. 

Beauty from Ashes. {Haiti Part 2}

As much as our mission trip to Haiti was a working mission, we spent a lot of time with the great people and adorable children of Haiti from different villages&orphanages. Here are some pictures from the villages! 

I was able to help out with some of the Vacation Bible Schools while we were there.

Driving up to Ebenezer, it was breathtaking! 

I am so blessed to have been able to experience all of this with my loving Mother, they all loved her!

Tina and I handing out snacks&water.

We did a lot of clothes and food distributions: Rice, beans, oil,&spaghetti. 

Another food distribution and VBS at the Village across the lake.

We spent almost a whole day at the new Rapha House in Haiti!

We were not allowed to take pictures while we were at the safe house for obvious safety reasons, but the images of that day will always be in my heart. 

We were the first team to go to this new Rapha House and it was incredible! The staff was so amazing and the girls were so sweet! We were also able to spend time with Stephanie while we were there!! (The director of Rapha House) 

We had a devotion with the staff, ate Dominos pizza with the girls, did a VBS, and played with the girls outside. 

It was such an amazing day! 

One of the girls said that she could see Jesus in the house that day, and I would have to agree! 

Although Jesus is always in the safe house and with us, His love was definitely brighter while we were there!

{Romans 12:9-13}

 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor,serving the Lord.

 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.