"I dare you..."

I dare you...

While the Hubs has been gone on another mini deployment, 

Neflix has become a dear friend. 

A friend that I can cuddle up with, eat dinner or too much dessert with, 

and frankly, let's me shed my tears.

Well tonight I stumbled across a movie called Ragamuffin.

SERIOUSLY one of the best movies I've ever watched.

It's about the life of Rich Mullins. 

An American contemporary Christian music singer and songwriter.

He didn't try to be liked by everyone, he just wanted to shout the truth to all those who were listening.

 Whether you liked the way he delivered it or not, he was going to tell you.

I had no idea that he wrote two of my favorite songs:

"Awesome God" and "Sometimes by Step."

And my new favorite song of his:

"Hold me Jesus." 

Especially during those lonely nights where I only wish Scott could be home to hold me tight as we fall asleep next to each other. 

Or when I miss my family so much it hurts.

Or when I would rather be across the world on a mission trip.

"So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf

You have been King of my glory

Won't You be my Prince of Peace."

So, about that dare...

I especially loved a part in the movie where the pastor made me cry. A much needed, heart-wrenching cry for my God. 

One that just makes sense and doesn't make sense at all.

It was all about the depth of God's love for me.

For US, all of us.

A message that my broken, sinful, battered heart needed more than I needed the next breath of air. 

Brennan Manning said:

"The Lord Jesus is going to ask each of us one question and only one question: Do you believe that I loved you? That I desired you? That I waited for you day after day? That I longed to hear the sound of your voice?

The real believers there will answer, “Yes, Jesus. I believed in your love and I tried to shape my life as a response to it. But many of us who are so faithful in our ministry, in our practice, in our church going are going to have to reply, “Well frankly, no sir. I mean, I never really believed it. I mean, I heard alot of wonderful sermons and teachings about it. In fact I gave quite a few myself. But I always knew that that was just a way of speaking; a kindly lie, some Christian’s pious pat on the back to cheer me on. And there’s the difference between the real believers and the nominal Christians that are found in our churches across the land. No one can measure like a believer the depth and the intensity of God’s love. But at the same time, no one can measure like a believer the effectiveness of our gloom, pessimism, low self-esteem, self-hatred and despair that block God’s way to us. Do you see why it is so important to lay hold of this basic truth of our faith? Because you’re only going to be as big as your own concept of God.

Do you remember the famous line of the French philosopher, Blaise Pascal? “God made man in his own image, and man returned the compliment”? We often make God in our own image, and He winds up to be as fussy, rude, narrow minded, legalistic, judgemental, unforgiving, unloving as we are.

In the past couple of three years I have preached the gospel to the financial community in Wallstreet, New York City, the airmen and women of the air force academy in Colorado Springs, a thousand positions in Nairobi. I’ve been in churches in Bangor, Maine, Miami, Chicago, St. Louis, Seattle, San Diego. And honest, the god of so many Christians I meet is a god who is too small for me. Because he is not the God of the Word, he is not the God revealed by it in Jesus Christ who this moment comes right to your seat and says, “I have a word for you. I know your whole life story. I know every skeleton in your closet. I know every moment of sin, shame, dishonesty and degraded love that has darkened your past. Right now I know your shallow faith, your feeble prayer life, your inconsistent discipleship. And my word is this: I dare you to trust that I love you just as you are, and not as you should be.

 Because you’re never going to be as you should be.” 

So, friends, I am passing on the dare.

I dare you to trust that Jesus loves you just as you are, 

and not as you should be. 

And then...be radically changed because of it!

Beauty from Ashes. {Haiti Part 2}

As much as our mission trip to Haiti was a working mission, we spent a lot of time with the great people and adorable children of Haiti from different villages&orphanages. Here are some pictures from the villages! 

I was able to help out with some of the Vacation Bible Schools while we were there.

Driving up to Ebenezer, it was breathtaking! 

I am so blessed to have been able to experience all of this with my loving Mother, they all loved her!

Tina and I handing out snacks&water.

We did a lot of clothes and food distributions: Rice, beans, oil,&spaghetti. 

Another food distribution and VBS at the Village across the lake.

We spent almost a whole day at the new Rapha House in Haiti!

We were not allowed to take pictures while we were at the safe house for obvious safety reasons, but the images of that day will always be in my heart. 

We were the first team to go to this new Rapha House and it was incredible! The staff was so amazing and the girls were so sweet! We were also able to spend time with Stephanie while we were there!! (The director of Rapha House) 

We had a devotion with the staff, ate Dominos pizza with the girls, did a VBS, and played with the girls outside. 

It was such an amazing day! 

One of the girls said that she could see Jesus in the house that day, and I would have to agree! 

Although Jesus is always in the safe house and with us, His love was definitely brighter while we were there!

{Romans 12:9-13}

 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor,serving the Lord.

 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Beauty from Ashes. {Haiti Part 1}

Dear beautiful Haiti,

For the past couple of years I have summed up my "New Year Resolutions" to one word and for 2015 my word is serving. I want to do my very best at becoming a better servant and what a better opportunity than a mission trip! I very recently just traveled to your wonderful land within the last couple of weeks on a mission trip and was blown away. Truly. 

I wasn't expecting to look out of my window on the plane and see gorgeous mountains&colorful buildings. I wasn't expecting to see the smiling faces of your people and the loving looks in their eyes. I wasn't expecting to feel completely safe. 

But I did, to all of those and more.

I then realized that what I was witnessing was what Isaiah had explained in Isaiah 61:3: 

Haiti had been given a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, and festive praise instead of despair.

Haiti hadn't just survived that earthquake and all that resulted from it, they had thrived. And I was experiencing it. 

Almost exactly three years before this trip to Haiti, I went on a mission trip to Cambodia for Rapha House. I was living in Australia at the time and met my Vernal team there. Rapha House is a safe house for girls who are rescued out of sex trafficking where they have all of their needs taken care of, counseling, taught trades that will help them earn money for their families (sewing, gardening, hair school), and can finally act like little kids. That mission trip was to collect information and first hand experiences to come back to the states (or Australia) and reach out to people.

 This mission trip to Haiti was very different, a working mission. I was meeting my parents and the team from Vernal there, most of them their second time to Haiti to reach out and help these precious people. That very first night my mom, friend Julie, and I watched a beautiful baby boy be born! That was an incredible, eye-opening experience. After our team member Necia (who helped the midwife) and the midwife told us that we were helping by our 'cheerful chatter', we decided that when the mama was pushing our job was to cheer "Push it.. push it REAL good." I'm really glad that she couldn't understand English... It was super intense labor and delivery, but she did great&we had a very healthy boy! Afterwards I was told that in Haiti one out of five mothers die in childbirth, so please keep expectant mothers in your prayers!

Two of the construction days that I was apart of was fixing a roof and building a compound wall that will be around Whole Hearted Orphanage.

Roof at Village of Faith:

We (I tried..) The men loaded up cement, and then we sifted gravel and carried buckets and buckets up the ladder. We also got to play with the adorable children of the village when school got out and the cute baby goats. At the end of an exhausting day, the ice cream moto came and we all got to share in the delight of ice cream. (Thank you Dad&John.)

Building the compound wall around 

Whole Hearted Orphanage.

We had part of our team on this project, and it was actually one of my favorite parts. It was a huge workout in the beating sun, but so exciting because you actually got to see the results. Also, I got to work with both my Mom&Dad! The work crew was so funny and so hardworking, it was incredible! 

Pictures are from both of my work days there. 

"MELOOOODDDY!"
"SAAAAAAAMMMMI!"
"KASSADDDDDIIIIII!"
"JUUUUUULIEEEE!"

To make the cement, we had to go down to a spring for our water. 
There are so many things that we seem to take for granted. 
Clean water, fresh water, abundance of water.
While we were there, I was blown away watching the women clean their family's clothes. Hardworking, dedication, love.  
Then there was this sweet, Christian man that helped Necia&I bucket water, he was extremely fast! He later said that what better way of living for God than helping others. So awesome!!!

Being able to spend time with my parents working in Haiti was incredible. Our team and the work crew were amazing!

I can not wait to see the wall complete and the future Whole Hearted Orphanage. 

{Joshua 22:5} 

 "But be very careful to keep the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the LORD gave you: to love the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to obey his commands, to hold fast to him and to serve him with all your heart and all your soul."

{1 Peter 4:10}

"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others,faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms."